I can boldly say that I’m healed from grief and loss. But, it has taken me years to begin healing from my losses (father, mother, and sister’s deaths, etc.).

You may have heard me talk about my parents’ death in Church, or here on my blog.

Grief is the root cause of so many things today that, in turn, affect us as individuals and a society. The pain grief creates in us includes the following:

• • • It disrupts our daily routines.
    • It affects and can even lower the level of our performance at work and in life.
    • It affects our emotional fitness. 

The following lines briefly describe the steps that have helped me resolve the above pain grief can bring about.

Let me point out that, and to be honest, the memories of the past do not always disappear from our mind.

A healthy way to handle grief is to embrace every piece of our past, including the losses we’ve incurred. Doing so enables us to control them all while changing their meaning, which is key to your healing.

 

Healing, of any kind, always requires three things

 

What I’ve realized over the years is that three things have helped me a lot. First, I’ve chosen to believe. That’s faith!

I believe in God who is both my personal Savior and Healer. But, to experience healing, I know he needs me to be a part of the process.

And, the next thing I’ve learned to do is “to work on myself.”

Healing is an intentional transformation, which starts with incorporating tiny changes in the way we live, and on a daily basis.

What this meant to me was to change the following: 

• • My morning rituals – how I start my day.
  • My daily routines – how I live throughout the day.
  • My evening rituals – how I end my day before bed. 

In another article, I will share more on morning and evening rituals, especially the ones that can help you heal from grief and loss.

One thing I should point out though is that you set the tone of how your day will go early in the morning. And, you re-center yourself in the evening so that when you go to bed, your mind, body, and soul are in sync (order, balance, and harmony) with your faith. 

 

Faith in Jesus Christ equipped me with the right attitudes

 

As a Christian, faith in Jesus Christ has equipped me with the right attitudes. These attitudes are the result of the balance, order, and harmony, you establish in your life. 

And, you achieve it, as stated above, by choosing to believe right. In my case, and as a Christian, I have chosen to believe in God, my personal Savior, and Healer.

Faith in God who can save and heal me helped align myself with the kind of attitudes, which would give me access to personal healing.

Learn about the right attitudes that I have helped in my article, 5 Attitudes every Christian should have. You can also get a copy of the book I self-published at Amazon.

 

I learned to regulate my emotions

 

Emotions are our human (and natural) way we respond to changes in life (within or around us), and grief is one of them.

And, healing from grief (or loss) means that I’ve moved from Loss (the state of grieving and mourning over a loss) to Restoration (the place of healing). In this state of being, I have turned grief into triumph and gratitude.

Being stuck in “Loss” or between “Loss” and “Restoration,” where most people end up staying for a long time, can create a lot of bad emotions:

• • • Anger.
    • Sadness.
    • Anxiety, and so forth.

These bad emotions can affect our performance in life.

 

I am the author of my life’s narrative

 

But, what I have learned, of course, combined with my experience (pastoral ministry, academic research, personal struggles, mentoring, and coaching), is that I am the author of my life’s narrative.

In other words, I’m the only one to give meaning to every event that happens to me in my life. There are events that are beyond our control such as death, the loss of business opportunities, death of a relationship, miscarriages, etc.

I have, therefore, learned to give every event, in my life, bad or good, a name and integrate it into my life story (or narrative).

Doing so required me, of course, some real discipline, which eventually has given me control over my thoughts, and how to only allow the ones that build me up.

 

Moving forward

 

For the last few years (starting with the passing of my Mother), I have been keeping track of all my personal struggles, specifically my responses to the different losses I’ve incurred in my life.

Also, I’ve been recording the steps that have helped me heal from grief (loss), which I have briefly laid out above.

In the next few weeks, I will be sharing more about my entire healing journey from grief and loss in the form of a helpful digital resource for those who would like to grief and loss into triumph and gratitude.

I pray that if you’re grieving today over a loss (of any kind) God may cover you with His peace and hope!

 

P.S. If you would like me to notify you when this digital resource is out, click HERE.