Moving from anger to gratitude isn’t an easy thing to do for all people. Both are two feelings we experience every time there is a change within or around us.
[bctt tweet=”Feelings and emotions are our human way to respond to changes.” username=””]
Previously, I talked about moving from fear to hope, which also represents two other feelings we experience at times.
In the next few lines, I will help you, not only understand the anatomy of anger but more importantly, discover the tools that can help you turn that feeling into a better emotion, gratitude.
A while ago, I discussed emotions (feelings) here on my blog as well as on social media (Facebook and YouTube). Part of that series was to elaborate on the makeup of these emotions and how they can affect us in our everyday living.
One important thing about emotions is that they always tie us to a certain time, space, and relationships.
You may have already heard of the three types of anger, which most people describe in the form of aggression:
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- Passive aggression.
- Open aggression.
- Assertive aggression.
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The first two types of aggression are hurtful. They hurt both the person feeling angry as well as the people in his or her life. Passive aggression means that the individual does not want to show he or she is upset.
They hide, but, in the meantime, are not happy and pretend that all is well. A lot of times, they do so to avoid confrontation. It may hurt them or the people from whom they’re hiding their anger.
The second type of aggression is about accusing and judging. It has a lot of sarcasm and makes the person’s behavior physically and (or) verbally aggressive. Physical or verbal aggression hurts others, including the perpetrator.
The last type of aggression doesn’t. It shows confidence in the angry person. It also describes the individual’s ability to be open, flexible, and forgiving. Lastly, assertive anger (aggression) means that the person who is experiencing it is a good listener.
Read this scripture,
Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city. Proverbs 16: 32. ESV.
Becoming slow to anger shows willpower and an ability to rule over your spirit (mind and soul). In other words, you are still able to be angry, but using the third type of aggression (assertive aggression).
Of course, the question is, “how do I get to do that?”
There are five steps I would like to share with you, which, I firmly believe, will help you be slow to anger. These steps will equip you with the tools to move from anger to gratitude.
Acknowledge your anger
Read Ephesians 4: 26, 27. Here is what it says:
Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil. ESV.
What you hear from Paul is that “anger” in itself isn’t a sin. By the way, Jesus, when he was here on earth, also got angry. In case you didn’t know, one day, he walked into the temple, and overturned the tables of the people who were selling in the temple court. Read Matthew 21: 12-13 or Mark 11: 15-18.
[bctt tweet=”Getting angry is not bad. But, what you do with your anger is what matters! ” username=””]
So, it’s ok to be angry.
What do you do when you’re angry?
The following steps will show you what to do after you acknowledge you’re angry.
Choose to forgive
Forgiving isn’t an easy thing to do. And, that’s because you’re dealing with someone or something that may have hurt you so bad. Three things that come with forgiveness:
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You are set free.
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You are choosing to deal with what you can change and influence.
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You do not expect anything in return.
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Read Colossians 3: 13,
… bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. ESV.
You forgive, not only for your sake. You do it because of the forgiveness you’ve received from God.
[bctt tweet=”The only way to show that you have God’s forgiveness in your life is by forgiving others!” username=””]
Pray
A biblical story, which tells us both about the power of forgiveness and prayer is what we read in Acts 7: 59, 60,
And as they were stoning Stephen, he called out, “Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.” And falling to his knees he cried out with a loud voice, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them.” And when he had said this, he fell asleep. ESV.
It’s a story of the first Christian martyr. He prayed while being stoned to death for the people who were killing him.
His last words were: “Lord, do not hold this sin against them.”
Instead of asking God to punish or judge these evil people, he asked God not to hold anything against them.
So, when you’re angry, pray this way:
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- God forgives you and others just as Stephen did, based on Acts 7: 59,60.
- God gives you peace (Philippians 4: 6,7).
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Change your thought process
Ok. You’ve acknowledged your anger, and have chosen to forgive. You also have been praying for yourself as well as other people. Now you need to change your thought process.
Everything we do or say starts in our thoughts. In other words, all our emotions (feelings) come first from a simple thought. We end up saying bad words to people or hurting others out of what goes on in our minds.
Two ways I can suggest here, and which can help you start changing your thought process.
Bring every thought captive to the obedience of Christ
Read 2 Corinthians 10: 5,
We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ … ESV
Ask yourself if your thoughts you’re having about somebody or something are obedient to Christ.
[bctt tweet=”Keep in mind that anything that has to do with our mind requires some mastery, which implies discipline, practice, and time. ” username=””]
Here’s what can help you more concretely.
Let your mental focus be on praiseworthy things
Based on Philippians 4: 8, make sure your thoughts are:
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- Honorable.
- Just.
- Pure.
- Lovely.
- Commendable.
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Thinking in the above ways will eventually make your way of life, character, and behavior praiseworthy. Remember what we feel about ourselves is who we become.
[bctt tweet=”When your way of thinking changes and focuses on Philippians 4: 8, you, as a result, become honorable, just, pure, lovely, and commendable! ” username=””]
Be thankful
With a changed thought process, you become able to approach everything that happens to you from a gratitude perspective. And there are three reasons why.
People around you, one way or another, need help. When somebody does something wrong, it is a sign that they need help. The same applies to those people or situations that make you angry. The world, and everything in it (including humans), require the saving grace of God. [bctt tweet=”See bad behavior or upsetting circumstances as a cry of help! ” username=””]
You share in the inheritance of God’s people. When you read Colossians 1: 12-14, you discover that God has called us to share in the inheritance of God’s people. I believe the reason is what I stated above; people and the world need the saving grace of God. You and I, through faith in Christ, are now heirs of that calling, which consists of serving the people who are emotionally, spiritually, and physically broken, as a result of sin.
You are an ambassador of Christ for the ministry of reconciliation. Being heirs of this calling means that we are ambassadors of Christ. God, through Christ, has called to serve as ministers of reconciliation. We represent Christ, who is the only way to God, our Father, and Maker. Christ is our only hope.
And, we are apart of the greatest Kingdom and ministry ever: reconciling people with God through Christ. Why not be thankful!
Bringing it together
Anger is a human feeling that we all experience, one way or another. Christians view the triggers of anger as a cry for help and use it as an opportunity to serve the people in need. Get angry, do not sin, but let God use that upsetting crisis as a means of grace so that through you, God shines more of God’s light in your life and your surroundings.
